Surviving the Holiday Kind of....

It is Black Friday, luckily my wife and I generally don't really get into it.

I am not sure why but Thanksgiving is never a good holiday for us and this year is no exception. There has been a lot of fighting, I haven't looked but I am sure I have gotten a few entries in the book. Wednesday night there was suppose to be some teasing and denial but we go into a big fight. So bad she was threatening to add an extra week of lock down!!! This 8 days is longer then we have ever gone locked up but I could not imagine 15 days. She did start playing with my cock last night. But then our son had a really bad crisis and was supper upset. So he came in and slept in our bed. I was so frustrated!!!

True to her word my wife has kept me locked. I even broke down and asked to be let out this morning, her response was to giggle and say "No." Getting even a few minutes to talk has been challenging but finally got a few minutes with her and I told her that I really feel disconnected and neglected (other then little things we are totally out of our routine, haven't even gotten to shave or put coconut oil on her legs) then added that I very horny. She laughed and just well you have 48 hours left then thought and said no more like 60-70. At least she was talking hours and not 9 more days as she had threatened.

Holiday Week

This is going to be an interesting week. Yes, I did get locked back up and my wife has decided that she wants to push our comfort zones. So I will be locked while her family is here, this is something she has been unwilling to do before. And that I am to be in panty hose during their visit as well.  They arrive tomorrow night so she has moved up our maintenance spanking to tonight

When her parents are here it is interesting in that she just normally becomes a lot more bossy. Normally she tries to fight it but she has told me this week she is going to embrace it and be very bossy and that she is really looking forward to it. To which I have been told I will be decorating on Friday for Christmas. It may sound stupid but I hate dealing with this and generally find ways out of it. As I have said before the times they are a changing.

Play Tonight!

Last night I went to my wife and said that I think I have been doing really good with the changes and have been trying really hard to be mindful of her. As such I said I would really like for us to have some play time. She said she would think about it.

Today I asked when she was locking me up again. She responded tonight after we play and have sex!!!! Bonus plan! Of course I had for some fun on Sunday to but it isn't my place to say. I have been unlocked for a couple of days but have not gotten to cum, to me that is harder then being locked and not getting to cum.

And another bit of progress, I asked when I was getting out. She responded she is torn on whether she unlocks me before her family gets here or if she keeps me locked the entire time they are here. In the past she has never been open to keeping me locked when either of our families were around. Now the fact that she is even considering it is a big step (of course she could just be teasing).

Frankly, she never wants to have sex when her parents are staying with us. So I won't be getting to cum so I would rather stay locked. But it is her decision.

To be in full disclosure, my wife does not read these posts before I make them. So they are my unfiltered thoughts but she does read them (I give the posts to read after they are up), so the post may have some influence in her decision.

"You seem to be struggling"

As I said yesterday, I have just been trying to do what is expected of me. Keep my head down and get my chores done. And take care of everything. And let the rest work itself out.
My wife was stuck at work so I ended up dealing with homework and taking care of a lot of the things that she normally handles. When she came home she seemed pretty distant and wasn't talking very much to me.  I had her tea ready but wasn't able to meet her at the door like I normally do because of homework. I didn't get a thank you for all the stuff I just handled, of course I didn't go through it all because I figured it was just expected. In still learning my new place I guess I thought I would get a thank you or something. But looking back I agree I shouldn't have expected it. I should have just been glad I could make things easier since she was late. She ate dinner and we all watched TV.
When we got upstairs, I am not exactly sure what happened but she and our son had some issue. She came out and said you need to deal with him and put him to bed. I just said "ok." She then said she was going to sit in the tub and relax. I watched some tv with the kid and then put him to bed.
I guess you could say I was frustrated. I was trying to be responsive and get everything handled that I was suppose to but she just felt really distant, I guess it was a bad day but she didn't really communicate. Frustrated, I went in to the bathroom and asked to be excused so that I could go play the PS4. She said sure so off I went to try and just relax.
When I got back upstairs we had a quick chat and I sat back to read. About a half hour later, she said that when she was back downstairs she was noting in the Behavior Modification Plan notebook my going downstairs to play video games rather then be available to dry her off, as she wanted, after her tub (she didn't say anything when I asked, I was just suppose to realize I would be needed).  To be honest I hadn't even thought about it. I had been focused on all the tings I had done that were not even noticed. So I guess the punishment will teach me a lesson about mindfulness.
Then she said "You seemed to be struggling with the changes we are working on. So I think we should do the maintenance tonight to help you refocus." I was then told to get undressed. I quickly remember that the punishment implements she likes to use were in the basement. And told her so, figuring I'd be made to run down and get them. Instead she had me grab her hairbrush.
So yeah I got thrashed last night, not as bad as a punishment session but it still sucked. She helped me to remember my place and where I am suppose to be focused.

Just serving

Not much really going on, my wife was sick this weekend and was nice enough to share it with me. Been cooking a lot, cleaning and dealing with laundry. Last night we bathed together and she had me shave her legs, she said she is really enjoying this routine. I was unlocked this weekend and was suppose to be locked again last night but our son had some nightmares so we were not able to lock me down.

She is working late tonight so we will continue to not be in our regular routine. I am just trying to do the things that make her life easier. And hoping that at some point it will lead to more kinky fun.

Deflated balloon

I guess I should start with I am angry.... watching tv with my wife sleeping next to me. Tonight was suppose to be a night of fireworks (tonight was the night I was getting unlocked). Now I should have known things were not going to work out when my wife suggested a night off for me because I just got the PS4. Frankly, I was more interested in sex and told her so, but she assured me boom boom was happening... just that I might want to focus on the games.
So when we finally got our son down...I asked to be unlocked (I had to pee and I was hoping to be unlocked anyway), she said sure. Unlocked me and said "sure but we are not having sex."..WTF?!? She then explained that she was tired and had gotten a headache (which has apparently happen nightly since she started the training class she was in).
There were numerous times today where she said we were having sex. Frankly, I would not be as aggravated if it was a case of her saying "I changed my mind." But the thing is I needed to be unlocked tomorrow morning (exercise related activity), and realistically we would not be up before kid, so it had to be tonight.
No, I am not doing anything with my freedom. Just really frustrated and disappointed.

Self Doubt

I am sure by now people realize I am a glass is half empty type of guy. I have been filled with a lot of self doubt today. Is this the right thing for me? Am I nuts to want this? A lot is probably due to the stress we are dealing with, I am trying to adjust to going into the office part time and my wife is taking a class from home. We just don't do well with breaks in routine (I recognize all this is a change in routine but it has been working).

Then I walked out of the bedroom and my wife was grinning at me. As I put on my pantyhose and got dressed (yes, she makes me wear pantyhose. Panties didn't work for us. But she likes the way pantyhose change my mindset). I asked why she was grinning, she said she liked watching me put on pantyhose and knowing that I was locked up. All of this interaction reassured me and made it worked for me.

I really know that this is what I want but it is just a lot of adjusting. I hope I can push on through and I do not know that I have a choice as my wife is really taking to it. Tomorrow, there is a lot planned which will probably correct my self doubt...maintenance spanking and my wife expects to be serviced.