Getting Back on Track

Long time without posting but there really hasn't been a lot to say in terms of FLR or chastity. But I think there have been a lot of good conversations about our needs and what each of us needs for an FLR to work.

I know a lot of people that want FLRs say that BDSM and kink is really not their motivation. And I tried to think that way but made clear I would like for it to be. I learned that it is not a want for me but a need. I really really love my wife to be in control and making the decisions and my serving her but I need the BDSM & humiliation parts to for it to be satisfying for me. There was a blog post that was about dominance versus abuse but really captured the idea that some submissive husbands need these things for the FLR relationship to be fufilling (it can be found here: http://dommewife.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-fine-line-between-domination-and.html ). My wife was a little taken aback when I showed it to her because of the abuse discussion. I had to explain that I just felt the post captured exactly what I felt that I needed these aspects and it wasn't a simple want.

My wife has really been pushing for us to get back to it. But last week really it just wasn't going to work out but I agreed to start today. Then I really hadn't heard anything more about expectations or anything. So last night I told her it was up to her if we went back to it. I couldn't emotionally get excited for it and be let down again. All she said was ok and then again I voiced some of my frustration and her response was I have given it a lot of thought and I know what I want (not telling me if we were going forward or what her plan was).

This morning I woke up with her going through my drawers and pulling out a pair of panties that I was suppose to wear today. Later in the day I thanked her and she told me to go was out the pee ice trays and that she planned on refilling them this evening. And then she told me I should plan on being in the body bag this evening. So looks like she does have a plan but looks like I will only get to know, what I need to know, when I need to know it.

Wife's Best Friend

We haven't been up to much. Work and some other things have really been crazy with family stuff. But next weekend we are sending my son off to his grandparents and my wife says it is game on!

So my wife's best friend bumped me today and we were chatting. She was looking for play ideas for someone she has been playing with. The conversation then turned to how hot the scene we had a Dark Odyssey. She then told me how she put two feet of chain up the guy's ass. I questioned why she never offered to that to me, she quickly responded "I will, I love it, and it feels good too!" A little later in the conversation she said "So what are you doing tonight?" She said we could play with some chain and that she has a new strap-on she wants to break in.

My brother-in-law is coming down for the weekend. So we will probably going out to dinner but after that not sure what. So I said I will check with my wife. Checked with my wife and her only question was where? So I told her in our family room thought it would be a floor show. That did not amuse her but then I said of course it would be her place. I told my wife that her friend's  husband is out of town and wouldn't mind having some fun.

My wife said sure go for it. She knows I have been desperate for some play. She just wants to make sure that I am up tomorrow morning because I am suppose to take her brother out. So I may be having some fun but I need to figure out what time my brother-in-law is getting in. Stay tuned.

Long Distance Control

Last Friday to keep my mind on her this week my wife came home and peed in a glass (and it was a smelly pee). Then she called me over and told me to take it and pour it into a couple of ice trays we have and put them in the outside freezer. She told me that she may or may not call me this week and tell me to make myself a drink with her special ice cubes or she might even tell me to just suck on one and think about her.

She made a lot of ice cubes but so far hasn't called or texted me. But I will say it is an effective way of keeping her on my mind.

Calm before the Storm

My wife had such a good time with the rope and tormenting me on Saturday that she decided that she wanted to do it again last night. After she had me bound up and was having her fun she paused and looked me in the eyes and said that I should consider this week to be the calm before the storm. You see she is leaving tomorrow for a work conference and will not be back until Friday night.

I asked her what she meant and she just said " I have plans and a lot of things are going to be changing. And you should prepare yourself because it is going to be very hard on you." I am really excited and nervous to see where she wants to take our relationship. More and more we are getting back to where we were a few months ago when things were really clicking. We both want to go a lot farther down the rabbit hole and it sounds like she is going to start pushing that.

I screwed up

Last night we were suppose to have a big scene and then we had planned another scene for tonight not as intense but would be a lot of fun. But before any play we had family activities planned. So we rushed out to have dinner before all of his activities. We decided with the craziness we would switch the scenes between nights.
I relaxed for a little while and then met them for the family night. My wife told me she was getting a headache and then later on said she was getting tired. The thing is we have a really bad habit of getting tired or just life getting in the way. So I got cranky...really, really cranky.
So nothing ended up happening except me getting another entry in the behavior modification plan notebook (UGH) and a stern lecture. And I did not get unlocked either :-( On the upside, I didn't get unlocked and my wife remained firmly in control.
On the upside I was told me no matter what we were playing tonight.

Give me the key

My wife and I have been discussing how we intend on ramping things up and going farther. She decided she wanted to meet for lunch and I made the suggestion that maybe I should lock myself up and give her the key at lunch. She LOVED the idea and as she came in to the restaurant she stuck her hand out and I knew exactly what she was expecting so I handed over the key.

I will say when she had me regularly locked up I was use to it. But right now it is back to being uncomfortable. But I will live.

Back Home from Dark Odyssey

I am home from Dark Odyssey Winter Fire. The weather really added a lot of stress to the beginning of the trip. I go early to this event and leave late because I help with the set-up and tear down. Ended up getting there a night earlier then planned because of the snow. And lead to one of my hottest events with my wife's best friend of all people.

The event was great and I was running around with lots of socializing and playing. People really missed my wife, she hasn't come out in awhile. There were lots of texts back and forth and she has now committed to going next year.

Right before I had left my wife and son were both dealing with bad colds. So guess what...yep I got sick during the event UGH! Sunday, I woke up just miserable and had to cancel all of my plans (which of course was suppose to have been my busiest). The worst part was trying to do tear down on Monday. Man that was rough but somehow I pulled my weight and we got it all done.

I am still pretty sick but my wife is not letting that stop her in her resuming her role as head of the house.

 

Winter Fire is Next Week

Next week I am going to Dark Odyssey Winter Fire in D.C.. I am really looking forward to the weekend of kinky fun. I have a number of play dates set-up and really it will be nice to have a weekend that is all BDSM all the time. 

At this time the event is really the only public event I am going to. My wife doesn't really go out to them anymore but she definitely encourages me to still get out. It is a great time and I get to see good friends from around the country that I only run into at events.

One scene that I am working on is a woman wants to do a strip tease and drive a man absolutely crazy. Having him moaning and begging and she wants to leave him with blue balls. She asked if I had any experience with blue balls. Told her yes my wife likes to keep me locked up and frustrated a lot.

I will be coming home beaten and used. Of course when I get home it will be pay back time and I know it will be right back to lock down and a long list of chores.

Play Room

A couple of weeks ago we had a pipe in our basement break, so besides the obvious repairs we had to get the main room repainted. My wife did not like the way one of the colors looked and the painter had already purchased it so I suggested we use it in our play room.

The painter just finished, I am planning on making some nice storage areas for our toys and we need to rehang pictures and stuff but here are a couple of pictures of the space. So happy with how it turned out.

Was really nervous about letting the painter in to see everything in the room but he didn't say a word and even added some touches that make the room like adding a dimmer to our light.

2014 Goals

While we were away this past weekend, our son ended up spending Saturday night in our friends' room (all the kids wanted to be together). So Sunday morning I woke up and wanted badly to have sex (I love morning sex but with the kid around it never happens). I was able to convince my wife, through begging and pleading that it was a good idea and she really was doing it just because she knows how much I love it.

Well I am a very verbal person and love to be talked to during sex. So I had asked if she had been thinking of any goals for the new year in terms of the FLR relationship and she had. So the goals she has set are as follows:

1. No more breaks from our new roles, she knows things come up but from now on we deal with them in our agreed upon dynamic. As I have said she is really embracing our new roles and is very happy in the roles. She feels we work much better with her the dominant and my following her lead.
2. Currently she only makes me clean-up (eat) probably about 50% of the messes that I make when I am allowed to cum. Going forward her goal is that will be 100%. UGH!!!! I hate this and it is so disgusting, but as I have said before thinking about the times she has made me do this is always hot.
3. She want us to focus on making BDSM/Kinky play happen a lot more. She acknowledge that we have to really force it for awhile to get ourselves back in the routine. She feels that we have gotten our relationship dynamic in a good place (still a lot of room for growth but it is an ongoing process) but we both want play to be a part of this and it needs to be a focus.

I got nervous about goal number two as we were having sex and whether she planned on implementing it immediately. She said no, she was worried our son would wander back over. But going forward yes....

We have talked some more and I have asked that we make the theme for the year anal. We both love it but it just doesn't seem to happen that often. But I think after an incredible anniversary date we both realize how much it needs to be a focus. So that is our theme and I asked that we add one additional goal...

   4. To work me up to the point that by the end of the year she will have fisted me. This is a pretty big goal and my wife is doubtful but I know if we focus on making play and anal play happen we can get there.

So those are our FLR/BDSM goals as they stand for 2014. Not sure if she will decide on any more, like chastity goals or anything. We try and keep the number of goals down (but that have a lot of things under them) so that we can focus on hitting them. We have other goals but not really appropriate for this blog.

BDSM Event

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Play Tonight!

Last night I went to my wife and said that I think I have been doing really good with the changes and have been trying really hard to be mindful of her. As such I said I would really like for us to have some play time. She said she would think about it.

Today I asked when she was locking me up again. She responded tonight after we play and have sex!!!! Bonus plan! Of course I had for some fun on Sunday to but it isn't my place to say. I have been unlocked for a couple of days but have not gotten to cum, to me that is harder then being locked and not getting to cum.

And another bit of progress, I asked when I was getting out. She responded she is torn on whether she unlocks me before her family gets here or if she keeps me locked the entire time they are here. In the past she has never been open to keeping me locked when either of our families were around. Now the fact that she is even considering it is a big step (of course she could just be teasing).

Frankly, she never wants to have sex when her parents are staying with us. So I won't be getting to cum so I would rather stay locked. But it is her decision.

To be in full disclosure, my wife does not read these posts before I make them. So they are my unfiltered thoughts but she does read them (I give the posts to read after they are up), so the post may have some influence in her decision.