Haven't posted in a real long time. Last time I posted we were about to have an adult weekend of hardcore FLR and kinky fun. Well we had it and it was great but then the wheels kind of fell off of the bus that is our relationship. I really don't know what exactly happened but my wife just stopped leading or anything in terms of FLR. It really hurt and not sure how to say that better.
In the absence of flr, we have really really been struggling and fighting. It has been an incredibly rough month. A couple times she had made passing comments about wanting to get back to it. Then we were talking and she said she doesn't know what caused things to go so wrong between us. I pointed out that we started struggling when she stopped. She thought about it, you could see the wheels turning, and looked at me and said I was right.
Since that conversation she has really been focused on our getting back to it. Asking what it would take and such. Frankly, I am scared about our going back to it and the same thing happening. The last month has been so bad and I really was hurt when things just stopped. We finally seem to be functioning again (not as an flr just a relationship) and not just fighting so the thought that we could start this whole cycle again, you know is scary.
My wife points out that we both function better when we are actively functioning in a female le
d relationship. And I really agree with her. So we are discussing it. I have told her I need a lot more structure and commitment and follow through on her part. And then talking about what we would do differently. I don't know where this will lead but at least we are discussing it
I think it's really good that you are both talking about it. In my own experience, the "life gets in the way" seems to happen a lot. It's natural to have ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about this the other day: how much better our relationship has been since she's accepted (in some cases enthusiastically) femdom sex. I was thinking, is sex really that important? Yes and no. It is important because it really helps to bond us. However, I believe it goes way beyond the bedroom, sort of a ripple effect. Hard to explain but there is a deeper connection between us knowing that she has accepted me as a submissive sex partner and engaging in kink. It makes me feel accepted and loved, and that spills over into the daily grind.
I would say that I would really be disappointed to go back to a vanilla type of sex life permanently. But I also get where you are coming from, the lows can be tough.
Good luck.