Thursday, May 8, 2014

Work in Progress

We are still talking about things, my wife is very determined for us to get back to our FLR. And honestly I would like to as well. I have been really depressed and overwhelmed lately and I think it is just the lack of guidance if that makes any sense. But we need to take this slowly and figure out what will work for us and how we can keep it from becoming so routine that you stop doing it.

As a way of ensuring follow through my wife has added activities like maintenance and punishment spankings. And Wednesdays are suppose to be our maintenance nights. She brought it up several times during the day and then again in the evening. I really just expected it to be talk but once our son was asleep she said we were doing it. I resisted a bit but she was firm and today I am glad she did.

Today, I went and made the bed, prepared her tea and dealt with all of the laundry. Things that were routine in our FLR but since the issues have just gone away. I hope she sees it as my being willing for us to continue to figure out how we can get back to it.

I am away for the weekend (she is not amused about my missing Mother's Day) but I am hopeful we can discuss further before I leave. But we will see, still don't know where we go from here.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Not sure where we go from here

Haven't posted in a real long time. Last time I posted we were about to have an adult weekend of hardcore FLR and kinky fun. Well we had it and it was great but then the wheels kind of fell off of the bus that is our relationship. I really don't know what exactly happened but my wife just stopped leading or anything in terms of FLR. It really hurt and not sure how to say that better.

In the absence of flr, we have really really been struggling and fighting. It has been an incredibly rough month. A couple times she had made passing comments about wanting to get back to it. Then we were talking and she said she doesn't know what caused things to go so wrong between us. I pointed out that we started struggling when she stopped. She thought about it, you could see the wheels turning, and looked at me and said I was right.

Since that conversation she has really been focused on our getting back to it. Asking what it would take and such. Frankly, I am scared about our going back to it and the same thing happening. The last month has been so bad and I really was hurt when things just stopped. We finally seem to be functioning again (not as an flr just a relationship) and not just fighting so the thought that we could start this whole cycle again, you know is scary.

My wife points out that we both function better when we are actively functioning in a female le
d relationship. And I really agree with her. So we are discussing it. I have told her I need a lot more structure and commitment and follow through on her part. And then talking about what we would do differently. I don't know where this will lead but at least we are discussing it