I know a lot of people that want FLRs say that BDSM and kink is really not their motivation. And I tried to think that way but made clear I would like for it to be. I learned that it is not a want for me but a need. I really really love my wife to be in control and making the decisions and my serving her but I need the BDSM & humiliation parts to for it to be satisfying for me. There was a blog post that was about dominance versus abuse but really captured the idea that some submissive husbands need these things for the FLR relationship to be fufilling (it can be found here: http://dommewife.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-fine-line-between-domination-and.html ). My wife was a little taken aback when I showed it to her because of the abuse discussion. I had to explain that I just felt the post captured exactly what I felt that I needed these aspects and it wasn't a simple want.
My wife has really been pushing for us to get back to it. But last week really it just wasn't going to work out but I agreed to start today. Then I really hadn't heard anything more about expectations or anything. So last night I told her it was up to her if we went back to it. I couldn't emotionally get excited for it and be let down again. All she said was ok and then again I voiced some of my frustration and her response was I have given it a lot of thought and I know what I want (not telling me if we were going forward or what her plan was).
This morning I woke up with her going through my drawers and pulling out a pair of panties that I was suppose to wear today. Later in the day I thanked her and she told me to go was out the pee ice trays and that she planned on refilling them this evening. And then she told me I should plan on being in the body bag this evening. So looks like she does have a plan but looks like I will only get to know, what I need to know, when I need to know it.
