Hitting speed bumps along the way to an FLR

So in our agreeing to try and make a female led relationship (FLR) we both agreed that we would face bumps along the way before it would really be the way our relationship was. Boy, did we hit one of those bumps on Tuesday and it was a really big one!

Monday night I was really expecting a lot of play as we had agreed we really needed to start pushing the FLR. To me that meant play of some kind or a higher service or I don't know but just expected a lot. We did have a really nice night with a lot of teasing since she had locked me up the night before. But as I said I just had a lot of expectations (come on I am a guy and we all expect the fantasy which has no basis in reality).

So Tuesday morning I was feeling really frustrated and aggravated. I went and wrote a very long email outlining all of my issues and why I was so upset. As I was writing the email, I did start to realize that maybe I wasn't right to be so worked up but nah how could I be wrong. When she received the mail I got a note back just saying I had given her a lot to think about. We talked later through gchat and she quickly let me know that she was really upset by it.

I won't bore everyone with all of the discussions (there was a lot and really I think we both grew through working our way over this bump) that we had but at some point the light-bulb finally went on in my head. I agreed to led her lead our relationship and I had agreed to give her control of what and when we do things and I just need to accept that if this is going to work. This is not about all of my kinky fantasies, this is about surrendering control to her and letting her guide this relationship.

By the end of the night we were really in I think a good place. Although we both were frustrated and upset at various points at the end of the day she told me "We are not going to give this up just because we hit a bump. We are going to do this for a few months, if then we decide it is not for us then we move on. But we are going to work and push forward with this." That was great to hear. Then she said that she needs to keep in mind that when she decides something that's it that's the way it is going to be. And I just need to accept that is it or I will have to deal with the consequences.

This was a really big bump for us and I expect anyone that is trying to set up an FLR/WLM probably all have a bump along the way that is pretty similar (who knows I could be wrong). But I suspect everyone in these relations has an expectation of what it will be like and the reality is always going to be different. Accepting that the female should be shall we say selfish and putting herself first is not the normal model out there. And for the male to give up control and accepting your wife's leadership.

Stress Test (Sounds worrisome)

A lot has gone on since Monday when I started this but really slammed with work today so just have time for a quick post.

We are big fans of a show called Bar Rescue and on the show they like to do something called a stress test to identify the weaknesses of the bar that need to be fixed. Well with all that has gone on (which will be at least two to three separate posts when I have time to get my thoughts together), she has decided that we need a stress test to identify the weakness we need to address in our move to a FLR. She told me it is going to be really hard and fast and there will no cutting of slack in my performance. And she plans on pushing both of us really hard...Her in being selfish and focusing on her needs and me to just accept and not question or pout.

I am more then a little nervous.

Down the rabbit hole

I am starting this blog to document my journey as my wife and I move into a kinky Female Led Relationship (FLR) from our normal marriage. I am definitely excited about this change but at the same time am very nervous. I really want us to go very deep into this but at the same time am concerned about getting in over my head.

We changed our relationship model a couple of weeks ago but really it has pretty vanilla. To be clear we both identify as kinky but my wife wanted for us to adjust slowly. Last week we were suppose to have moved into a kinkier FLR model. But do to circumstances beyond our control we had been unable to.

Things seem to be changing now though, last night she put me in a chastity device and beat me with a wooden spoon. Today, I bumped her and asked that we have a conversation when she had time. She said "Now would be fine." So I told her that if she was more interested in a vanilla FLR I would accept that but that I really wanted/needed more. She agreed and we talked for awhile, I told her I really wanted us to go a lot farther and she definitely agreed.

I then asked if it would be alright for me to start a blog where I track our journey and put my thoughts and feelings out there. So that is how this blog came to be.