Moving back to Female Led

Our last few attempts at a Female Led Relationship (FLR) have all fizzled. The funny thing is we both agree that things work for us when we are in that kind of relationship dynamic, the rest of the time we just muddle along. So we have been just here, kind of rudderless and fallen into a rut. Neither one of us are very happy and she has told me that things are a lot worse then I realize because she is really unhappy.

So we have been doing a lot of talking about what we want and where we can go from here. We have both agreed that we need to put our energy back into making our relationship into an FLR format. We have both read Georgia Ivey Green's book How to Set-up an FLR. We've taken the quizzes she has and talked a lot about what we want.

We are working up an agreement that outlines the expectations and how we will work during the summer as an FLR (then we will review what worked and tweak) and putting it down on paper. We haven't finished the agreement but I am happy with it so far. I have used some posts from the I'm Hers and Male Chastity Journal that were really relevant and am really happy with the agreement. My wife has the agreement and is putting her touches and editing so we will see what it looks like when we are done. We have gotten a new chastity device, the Holy Trainer 2. 

I can tell that she is really excited about returning to the FLR, I cannot tell you how many times I've heard her say "Oh things are going to be changing," or "Enjoy it now this are changing and changing quick." My son is going away for the week tomorrow and our game plan is to have a relaxing weekend and then sign and begin our new arrangement on Monday morning. This way we have a solid week for us to work through the kinks. Wish us luck.

What a morning

Last night my wife after I gave her a big orgasm with my tongue, she gave me another ruined orgasm. My balls have been really bothering me and though it wasn't a relief to my current level of frustration it helped with the ball pain. And yes I had to eat it again (and there was a lot) but again since it wasn't ruined I didn't mind. Then she dragged me into the bathroom and pissed a really nasty piss into my mouth (apparently she was really dehydrated and had been drinking really strong tea all night). She found my chocking really amusing. I came back in to her using her vibrator for a second orgasm, she had me fighting to get me tongue in around her vibrator, again really amusing her.

This morning I snuggled up and pressed my cage against her. We then made out like a bunch of high school kids. At that I suggested maybe we go in to work a little late. And maybe we could get up and I would go prep myself and when I was ready she could come down and peg me. Then I could give her an orgasm and then we could take a tub together and I would shave her legs. After which we could get ready and have a nice lunch and head to work.

At first she thought it was a ploy to get out of the cage but when I told no I did not expect it. We had talked about her starting to peg me when I was still locked. Once she was comfortable with that she was good to go. Once the morning routine was through I went down to the basement and prepared myself. My wife expects me to be one hundred percent clean when she pegs me. When I was good I called her and asked for her to give me five minutes. She said "ok" and I went and grabbed our neoprene gas mask and got it on and climbed into our sling.

She came down and said how much she liked finding me in the hood and started to do some breathe play. Then she grabbed a glove and started lubing my up and got on her harness and cock. Wow, it was an incredible time...she really pounded the crap out of me. It felt so good and was such an incredible experience, I am not sure how to express it but when she pegs me I just feel so submissive to her and being locked and knowing I was going to be allowed to cum through penile stimulation was mind blowing. She kept playing with the cage and the hood's hose and was really into it. I kept telling her how much I wanted to be her dirty bitch, and she kept saying you already are. I really thought I was going to cum but it didn't happen but it felt so incredible.

She stopped and said get my harness off me so I took the hood off and got the harness off. She went over to our liberator  and waited for me to climb between her legs (she didn't wait long). She was so wet and ready again it did not take long.

My wife kept asking if I really enjoyed it and I was like "God, YES!" I explained that when she pegs me I just feel so incredibly submissive to her. Then I turned the question because I know she is not able to cum from it (we have tried) why she likes it? Her reply was the power she feels when doing it and the dominance over me. She then said she liked it even more with the cage and that the cage made those feelings so much stronger. The rest of the morning went the way it was described above. We did have a lot of interesting discussions about where we are recently and maybe I we do a post about it some time.

No relief in sight

My lovely wife is definitely ramping things up. Yesterday morning we were both off and she said go get the penis board and the thin rope we use with it. Below is a picture of the penis board

She then proceeded to amuse herself tying my cock down and abusing it. Then she went and grabbed a bunch of clothes pins and clips and amused herself further. Then she untied me and started to strock me and it felt wonderful. As I started to get close to cumming I asked if I was allowed to cum. She just started laughing and saying "nope!" I quickly pointed out that we haven't had sex since last Tuesday and my last release was Thursday. She said "yeah she knew but that I wouldn't be cumming anytime soon." Then she explained that I would not be cumming for another two weeks and that I would be locked the entire time. BLINK..BLINK. I have never gone longer then a week and then I was climbing the walls. She said yeah it will be good character building for you. She said she planned on ruined orgasms and maybe trying to milk me. 

And she went back to her project at hand of ruining my orgasm. On and on she would bring me right to the edge and stop. I asked what happened if I had an accident. At that she slapped my balls hard and said "that but only harder." Finally, she got me right to the edge and let go about 30 seconds later it started to dribble out. UGH! We knew it was a ruined one because I was willing for her to feed me my mess. Something after I cum, I am always resistant to doing. She said that making me eat it when I am willing is not nearly as fun.

You are going out next Friday right?

"So you are going out next Friday, right?" My wife asked me in bed tonight.

This won't really be a FLR post but a post about how she loves me and another fetish I have.

I responded "Yes," I am planning on going to a grappling event. I have tried to make one of these events for about the last year but something always comes up. This time it was the fact that she was going to be out of town so I would be taking care of my son. When she heard that she was like oh no, you are going! We are on our second babysitter but she is determined that I make it.

Not sure what to expect but really excited to get out. A woman I use to play with that has totally been out of the scene will be making it and I sent a note asking her for a round and what she would want for stakes and challenged someone on the smack talk board so maybe I won't be a wall flower.

Settling Up

The other night my wife looked at me and said "we are going to be settling up tonight. How many do you think you have coming?" I looked at her and said "I, honestly, think I have been pretty good." She looked at me and laughed and said "no, you have been disrespectful and have used curse words and you know I hate that. So how many do you think you have coming?"

"I guess, um, eight." Again this was meet with laugther, " I was thinking twelve." I wasn't going to argue with her but knew this was going to be hell. I found her punishment spoon (it is a really really thick solid wooden spoon we found just for this type of correction) and asked if I could walk the dogs before hand.

When I got back with the dogs I went upstairs and she said alright drop your pants and get across my lap. As she delivered all twelve strokes I was lectured about my tone and cursing. It has been several days and my butt still hurts. After she had me thank her for helping me to improve and then had me crawl in between her legs and use my tongue to please her. Then it was time to get a condom on (I cringed as that usually means I will be cleaning up my mess), after she came she said that I didn't need to cum. I begged her to please let me and luckily she was kind and did.

Afterwards she climbed off me and said "I will give you a pass tonight but from now on you will be eating your mess. That was definitely a Thank God and UGH moment all rolled into one.

Just so we clear we are not having sex tonight

Yesterday, I was at the point of going crazy. I had blue balls and walking just hurt, it has been awhile since I came. I had installed the Sportsheet restraint system on our bed and my wife decided we would make use of it. So I was restrained and she started smacking my cock and then hitting my balls....OUCH! Remember blue balls. There were definitely also ice cubes being shoved into :ahem: places.

Then she climbed on top of me and I could feel how wet she was. Smacking me around clearly worked for her. The only problem was it had been so long I had no staying power, as I was begging her for a moment to recoup I hit the point of no return and begged her to keep going and for it not to be a ruined one. I am happy to say she continued and it was a monumental one.

But I came before her so once I was done (it was one of my longer releases) she had me get into the shower sitting on the floor with bended head and pissed out all the cum I had just inserted.

She said we were going to have sex again tonight. She was out getting her nails done as I folded all of the laundry tonight. She came home and got into bed and I thought we were good to go. Went over to give her oral to pleasure her, when she said she was cold and I needed to wait. About a half hour later I asked if she was ready and she said yes. I got to the foot of the bed and strip down to my panties (she now wants me in panties to remember my place) and said I hoped seeing me doing licky in only the panties would work for her (it did).

Three quarters of the way to orgasm she pulled my head up and said she changed her mind and there would be no sex. I went back to doing my business.  She had a huge orgasm. At the end I tried for sex and she said no. I am so desperate that I asked for a ruined one, to which she replied she was going to drink her tea and if she had to pee! she would do it on me while I played with my business.

Unfortunately, she later said I don't have to pee and I am tired so I am going to sleep but when I wake up I am taking you to the bathroom and pissing on you whether you are asleep or awake.

So i am trying to stay awake until that happens.

Getting Back on Track

Long time without posting but there really hasn't been a lot to say in terms of FLR or chastity. But I think there have been a lot of good conversations about our needs and what each of us needs for an FLR to work.

I know a lot of people that want FLRs say that BDSM and kink is really not their motivation. And I tried to think that way but made clear I would like for it to be. I learned that it is not a want for me but a need. I really really love my wife to be in control and making the decisions and my serving her but I need the BDSM & humiliation parts to for it to be satisfying for me. There was a blog post that was about dominance versus abuse but really captured the idea that some submissive husbands need these things for the FLR relationship to be fufilling (it can be found here: http://dommewife.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-fine-line-between-domination-and.html ). My wife was a little taken aback when I showed it to her because of the abuse discussion. I had to explain that I just felt the post captured exactly what I felt that I needed these aspects and it wasn't a simple want.

My wife has really been pushing for us to get back to it. But last week really it just wasn't going to work out but I agreed to start today. Then I really hadn't heard anything more about expectations or anything. So last night I told her it was up to her if we went back to it. I couldn't emotionally get excited for it and be let down again. All she said was ok and then again I voiced some of my frustration and her response was I have given it a lot of thought and I know what I want (not telling me if we were going forward or what her plan was).

This morning I woke up with her going through my drawers and pulling out a pair of panties that I was suppose to wear today. Later in the day I thanked her and she told me to go was out the pee ice trays and that she planned on refilling them this evening. And then she told me I should plan on being in the body bag this evening. So looks like she does have a plan but looks like I will only get to know, what I need to know, when I need to know it.